Considering what I went through as a child, it's really no surprise that I didn't want children. After all, my parents fought tooth and nail, and day and night throughout my young life. Kids, and the extra bills they brought, were their two biggest burdens.

I, as an adult, always had the same response when my couple friends said they were going to have a baby. My answer was always 'Did you plan this?'. I just could not understand why people would want children.

For me, that started to change in March of 2000 when I returned from a two-week seminar tour in Sydney, Australia. My wife explained that she had been all over town buying pregnancy tests. All 11 tests came up positive. We were going to have a baby.

Knowing my feelings, she was scared to death. As the months drifted by, I struggled with the idea that I was going to be a dad.

After seeing this, my wife asked a friend of mine, Scott Kelby, to share the joys of fatherhood with me. Scott was my first art director and is one of my best friends. Over the years, I have learned a great deal from him. At the time of this story, I was trying to repay some of that by teaching him how to kick box.

After the workouts we always went for a walk to cool down. It was during one of these walks that he helped me to understand how great fatherhood would be. He totally reframed my belief system on the subject of children.

My internal conversations were with the younger, adolescent portion of myself. My adolescent self had me convinced that kids would be a burden that would steal all of my time and money. Scott helped me realize the wonder that children could be. The day my son Alexander was born, and the day his younger brother Christopher was born, have been the best days of my life.

My transformation was very moving to Scott. In fact, he was so inspired it was the basis for The Book for Guys Who Don't Want to Have Kids.

The lesson I received from Scott made me realize that I didn't have as good a handle on my self-talk as I thought. My long-distance mentors, including Brian Tracy and Tony Robbins, along with my martial arts training,. taught me that my outer world was but a reflection of my inner world. If I truly wanted to be successful, I could rely on no one but myself. The rest of the world was busy taking care of itself and I would have to be responsible for my own success.

The conversations you have with yourself in your head are the conversations which pertain to your own life and experiences. Over time, these conversations form a tapestry of thought, which can determine your behavior, and therefore your actions.

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